Babies often begin to seek comfort through sucking as early as their first days of life—or even before, while still in their mother’s womb. This natural, so-called "primitive" reflex, the need to suck, has two aspects—nutritive and non-nutritive—that play an important role in an infant’s wellbeing. Whether it’s a breast, pacifier, thumb, or lovey, the need to suck and the issues that sometimes come with it—discover in this new article all our Élhée tips to guide you.
CONTENTS:
- Babies’ need to suck: an innate reflex
- The many benefits of suckling
- Breast, pacifier, thumb, or lovey: soothing the need to suck
- Our tips for managing your baby's need to suck
- The physiological pacifier: how to choose a nipple for your baby?
- Sucking disorders: how to recognize them?
Babies’ need to suck: an innate reflex
During an ultrasound, it’s sometimes a big surprise—baby is already sucking their thumb! This prenatal reflex becomes more refined throughout pregnancy and peaks at birth. It’s thanks to this reflex that your child can take their first feeding.
This is known as nutritive sucking—baby uses it to feed and, during this process, is very focused, sucking breast milk for a long time and swallowing after each suck.
At the same time, non-nutritive sucking at the breast, bottle, with a lovey, or with a pacifier is faster, with long pauses. Here, it’s not about hunger, but comfort.
Recognizing the need to suck
So, how can you tell hunger from the need for comfort? If mealtime is overdue (even by a little) or is approaching and baby is hungry, there’s a good chance they’ll start crying. You might also notice mouth movements and attempts to suck on their lovey, their fingers, or their whole fist—without being able to calm down.
The need for comfort may show up as a rather restless child who has trouble falling asleep, gets frustrated, or keeps turning their head. If they suck, they calm down automatically and very quickly.
Try it yourself! If you’re not sure, and it’s not mealtime yet and their diaper is clean, offer your baby your little finger to suck on. If they don’t calm down, you can prepare their milk feeding.
The many benefits of suckling
The sucking reflex (a primitive reflex, associated with grasping, rooting, Moro, automatic walking, cross-extension, and head-righting reflexes) plays many roles in your baby’s life.
- Feeding: Above all, suckling allows your child to drink milk—either breast milk or formula, via breast or bottle.
- Regulating milk production: By suckling at your breast, your baby stimulates and adjusts your milk production according to their needs and appetite.
- Soothing: Sucking brings a feeling of calm and peace that comforts or relieves your little one as needed.
- Managing stress and pain: Suckling releases endorphins. This hormone promotes relaxation and sleep, and also has a pain-relieving effect that’s especially useful during medical exams, for example.
- Interaction : Each time they go to the breast, if baby stops suckling, you switch sides. This is their very first way of exchanging signals, often accompanied by adorable glances and little sounds.
- Growing up: Sucking also plays a significant role as a source of reassurance in the psycho-emotional development of a child.
- Developing the palate: Perinatal osteopathy shows us that the pressure exerted by the tongue on the palate (during and between feedings) helps it form correctly by moving the cranial bones that make it up.
- Developing jaw muscles: Suckling works all the facial muscles, even shaping the face in part.
- Finally, sucking forces baby to breathe through the nose—the best way for them (and everyone) to oxygenate the brain.
Breast, pacifier, thumb, or lovey: soothing the need to suck
As weeks and months go by, the sucking reflex evolves into a need—especially as your child realizes it brings comfort. This is often the time when they adopt a lovey, thumb, or pacifier as companions.
For parents, having found a solution to crying and discomfort brings huge relief, but soon raises new questions about the pros and cons.
The thumb, impossible to misplace
A real plus, especially at night. If your baby wakes at night, they don’t need anyone to fall back asleep, as they can easily find their thumb. But when it comes time to stop sucking, it’s a different story. Because while the main advantage of the thumb is that it can never get lost, this is also its first drawback.
Experts also point out there’s a greater risk of orthodontic misalignment, mainly in children who suck their thumbs for a long time.
The breast, hard to refuse
Breastfed babies tend to mix nutritive sucking and comfort sucking at the breast. While these moments are often full of tenderness and magic, it’s not always easy to tell them apart, and even harder to refuse the breast or unlatch baby when you feel they aren’t feeding effectively.
For this reason, many moms choose to offer a pacifier—also called a binky or soother—to their baby.
The pacifier, easier to give up
Unlike the thumb, the pacifier is much easier (and physically possible) to leave behind—even when babies grow very attached to their soothers! Interchangeable for hygiene and convenience, however, pacifiers can get lost on the go or misplaced at night. That’s why so many parents end up with quite a collection.
Softer than a thumb and more contoured (known as an anatomical or physiological pacifier), pacifiers generally have a lesser impact on oral development in babies.
The lovey and emotional attachment
The lovey, the classic transitional object, comforts children during moments of separation from parents. Sometimes, it temporarily replaces the pacifier (what plush bunny hasn’t had its ears sucked on?)—and sometimes, the pacifier turns into a lovey, with babies rubbing the nipple on their nose to soothe themselves.
Our tips for managing your baby's need to suck
Doctors and pediatricians recommend reserving the pacifier for sleep times (nighttime and naps). However, most children also look for it when they are tired, sick, or hurt. In short, when the need for comfort is at its highest. There are also babies who “always” need to suck and babies who only fall asleep at the breast. Still, certain habits should be avoided:
- giving the pacifier instead of meals (or during meals),
- dipping the pacifier in jam, honey, or sugar to make it tastier,
- leaving the pacifier out all the time, without limits.
However, in the first weeks, and even throughout the first months, don't feel guilty about offering the breast, pacifier, or a finger to your baby. If they want to suck outside of feeding times, it’s because they need it to relax, calm themselves, get reassured, or fall asleep. Gradually, as they grow, they’ll learn how to self-regulate.
Pacifier and breastfeeding: a duo to avoid?
Opinions differ here. While some doctors advise not using a pacifier alongside breastfeeding to avoid possible confusion, other studies have shown that for full-term, healthy babies, introducing a pacifier has no particular impact.
The general recommendation in the United States, as in Denmark, is to only offer a pacifier once breastfeeding is well established.
The physiological pacifier: how to choose a nipple for your baby?
Once adopted, a pacifier is hard to change, so here are a few tips to make a smart choice from the start.
- For comfort and fit, choose a nipple suitable for your child’s age, and change to a larger size at each step (birth to 2 months, 2–6 months, 6 months and up…).
- Pick an ultra-soft physiological pacifier that’s shaped to mold to the palate and support proper tooth position when they start coming in.
- The pacifier should always let your baby close their mouth.
- Check the nipple and shield’s composition to favor the healthiest materials, such as medical-grade silicone or natural rubber.
- Finally, the shape of the shield is important, too, to avoid extra pressure on the mouth and to let air circulate—since this area often gets drooly!
- Of course, it’s also fun to choose your baby’s pacifier based on its unique design!
Did you know? Just as there’s no need to sterilize bottles after every use now, it’s also not recommended to sterilize pacifiers. Wash them, rinse them, but for your child's immune system to develop properly, good hygiene is enough. Also, don’t forget—not to leave a pacifier in the sun, freeze it, or put it in the dishwasher to avoid damage to the nipple!
Sucking disorders: how to recognize them?
The sucking reflex allows your baby to feed at your breast or with a bottle. However, some disorders can complicate things for both your baby and you. Here’s how to spot them.
Feedings are long, harder, sometimes disorganized, and above all unsatisfying for both you and your child. Symptoms such as refusing the bottle or breast, milk leaks, choking, GERD (reflux), or increased fussiness at feedings could be signs there’s a problem.
If breastfeeding, you might have breast pain, develop cracks, or experience significant engorgement.
A pediatrician can help you identify the cause of a sucking disorder (anatomical, functional, or sensory), such as a short frenulum, narrow jaw, or your baby’s prematurity.
When to stop thumb or pacifier?
Ideally, health professionals recommend stopping the pacifier between ages two and three to ensure healthy oral development. Usually, starting preschool lines up with a natural decline in pacifier interest. Still, if you sense your child is struggling with this big change, don’t hesitate to encourage them, remind them that "big kids" don’t use pacifiers, and set up a special box at home for them to leave their pacifier in—a safe place just for it.
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In conclusion
- The sucking reflex is present from birth. Over time, it turns into a need to suck that babies use to soothe and reassure themselves.
- Sucking lets your child feed, boost milk production if breastfeeding, calm down, or even fall asleep.
- When choosing your baby’s pacifier, consider the right size, shape, and materials.
- Sucking disorders, when present, may cause refusal of the breast or bottle, crying, choking, or symptoms of reflux in infants.
- There’s no specific age to stop thumb sucking or pacifier use. Each parent should guide their child through this process and aim to avoid going beyond age three.
