Pregnancy and then motherhood change a woman’s body and soul. While some upheavals are not permanent, others leave marks that require learning to live with and love yourself anew. Self-love is a bit of all that. The passage of time and its effects, life and its imprint, but above all, love of oneself that is stronger than anything else.
CONTENTS:
- First things first, a definition: what is self-love?
- Pregnancy, postpartum, and self-love: how to bring it all together?
- Self-image, the mirror of self-love
- Cultivating self-love, against all odds
First things first, a definition: what is self-love?
Literally, self-love means loving yourself. But this concept, halfway between personal development and spirituality, goes much further. Self-love is above all the complete acceptance of who you truly are, with no filter.
Practicing self-love means stopping blaming yourself, holding yourself back, feeling guilty, or wanting to change who you are. Self-love is the unconditional love you give your baby, but applied to yourself.
In this way, self-love is therefore especially important during pregnancy and afterwards, throughout the postpartum period, when the female body and mind are put to the test, undergo many changes, and often deal with exhaustion.
Pregnancy, postpartum, and self-love: how to bring it all together?
The challenges of pregnancy – nausea, vomiting, constipation, varicose veins, or vaginal discharge – put women through different physical and emotional states, some easier to live with than others and more or less forgiving to their self-image. While the second trimester is often considered the most pleasant, the first and last are typically marked by significant fatigue and the accompanying signs: dull hair, dark circles, lackluster complexion…
After birth, during postpartum, bleeding, urinary leakage, and hair loss can be hard to accept. Add to that the pregnancy weight, a body that often looks and feels different, and less time for oneself… an imbalance can easily arise between the image the new mother perceives of herself and who she really is.
Self-love comes in here as a personal therapy to put in place as early as possible, and that consists of real kindness and unconditional self-love, whatever stage of life you’re in.
Note: self-love has nothing to do with selfishness or egocentrism. On the contrary, it’s about loving yourself as much as you love others. It means giving your own needs and priorities the same importance as theirs. Because in order to love others well, you need to start by loving yourself.
Self-image, the mirror of self-love
Sometimes self-love comes naturally, but most of the time it needs to be worked on. For everyone, it must be cultivated. Close to self-confidence, this powerful feeling takes root in childhood, but is often undervalued.
In 2021, the brand TheBodyShop measured self-love at 53/100 in one of their renowned studies. Women reported feeling more nervous, anxious, and depressed than men, while worldwide, 6 out of 10 people wished they could feel more self-respect. Those surveyed also indicated that social media and the beauty industry negatively impact their self-image.
Fortunately, step by step, “mommy internet” is breaking the old codes of motherhood and declaring to anyone who will listen that not everything is perfect and that’s absolutely normal. So, if you feel like you’re not doing enough, not strong enough, not capable enough, not effective enough, or not beautiful enough… your need for self-love is urgent.
While motherhood is likely the most life-changing moment in a woman’s life, and as many learning experiences as there are doubts, the period is sometimes conducive to a deterioration of personal self-image. This is sometimes spoken of as self-dislike. Postpartum depression is closely linked to this state.
Accepting yourself and being objective
To help avoid postpartum depression and, more generally, to truly enjoy life, self-love and self-esteem are two essential pillars. Here are three tips to try quickly.
Becoming your own best friend
When your best friend needs you, you’re there. You comfort them, you tell them everything will work out and no, they haven’t failed at everything. Show the same kindness toward yourself!
Congratulating yourself often
Every day you accomplish wonderful things—recognize it. Whether it’s a professional achievement or a special moment with your child, be proud of your positive actions and remember them for the inevitable “down” days.
Always respecting yourself
Someone makes you an offer? If you’re interested, great. If not, don’t be afraid to say no and honor your feelings and opinions. If you don’t respect yourself, how can you expect others to?
Breaking free from others’ opinions
Other people’s opinions are just other opinions, and most importantly, they come after your own. No matter what you do, no matter your decisions, there will always be someone who disagrees. Set aside outside judgments and be your own judge.
Cultivating self-love, against all odds
As you now understand, practicing self-love is loving yourself, offering yourself kindness, compassion, and everyday understanding. As a mother or mother-to-be, it also means allowing yourself to feel tired, fed up, and to cry, delegating tasks to your partner, and feeling free to take a break or get some fresh air, without waiting and without guilt.
However, in everyday life, self-love often becomes a lesser priority. Here, then, are three proven suggestions to support you as you get to know and reconnect with yourself.
Start a self-love journal and write down why you love yourself
If you like mantras, positive quotes, and uplifting Post-its, you’ll love a self-love journal. Start one as early as your first months of pregnancy, before any major physical or hormonal changes, and especially before your mind starts to race with questions.
After reviewing why self-love matters, what it’s for, and the basics of positive psychology, the self-love journal provides lots of practical exercises. Inside you’ll find everything you need to love, respect, and honor your woman’s body, to love the person you are, and to fully welcome her.
Treat yourself to a photo shoot and see yourself as beautiful
To see your body kindly, what better than a self-love photo shoot with a professional photographer? To help you see your body from a new angle, highlight its assets, and walk away smiling, nothing beats a picture.
Pregnancy photos to capture the wait for your baby, or portraits taken after birth—choose the session that warms your heart and let yourself be guided.
Find inspiration in personal development books
Self-love literature is full of books, each more encouraging than the last. Here are a few references often recommended:
- Mon livre oracle Self Love – To dare to love yourself and blossom; Elodie Leclercq and Justine Criquioche-Louveau, Le Courrier du Livre
- Guérir de ses blessures affectives; John Gray, J'ai Lu
- Estime de soi, confiance en soi, amour de soi – The three pillars of success: Patrice Ras, Jouvence
These books offer a step-by-step approach to the concept, a theoretical and detailed learning, a sort of “How To self-love” or “How to learn to love yourself”—great to read and reread whenever you feel the need.
In conclusion
How do you practice self-love?
Self-love is practiced by showing yourself kindness, positivity, and gentleness.
How do you cultivate self-love?
To cultivate self-love, start by taking time for yourself, letting go of what you can’t control, celebrating your successes, and focusing on your best qualities—yourself.
How do you create a self-love routine during pregnancy?
To deal with the physical changes, fatigue, and doubts of pregnancy, give yourself special moments, time just for you, a photo shoot, a hair appointment—anything that brings you joy—and celebrate yourself! You, who are about to bring life into the world.
