Spoiler alert! If your child can already read, keep them away from this screen. 🥰 Since your child was born, you’ve known that one day, the question of Santa Claus’s existence would arise. “At school, the older kids told me that Santa Claus doesn’t exist: is that true, Mom?” “Uh... how can I explain this to you, sweetie... it’s more complicated than that.” And it’s true—answering that simple question often turns out to be much more complicated. During the height of the holiday season, just days before the arrival of presents, let’s take a moment: “Santa Claus, do you believe or not?”
SOMMAIRE:
- The origins of Santa Claus and the tradition of December 25th
- To tell or not to tell the legend of Santa Claus: asking yourself the right questions as a parent
- 5 tips for talking about "Santa Claus" more serenely
The origins of Santa Claus and the tradition of December 25th
The legend of the old man dressed in red most likely originates from Saint Nicholas, a Christian bishop from the 4th century known for his generosity toward children and for performing several miracles. On the night of December 5th to 6th, he would come down from the sky on his donkey (or his white horse) and hand out treats.
His legend gradually spread across Europe and eventually reached the United States in the 16th century. It was there that Saint Nicholas became “Santa Claus.” However, while his name changed, the old man kept the white beard and red cloak that still characterize Saint Nicholas today.
The reindeer, on the other hand, appeared in 1823 thanks to a publication in a New York newspaper: “The Night Before Christmas.” Its author, Clement Clarke Moore, depicts on the night of December 24th to 25th an old, jolly man accompanied by his eight reindeer: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen. All would later be joined by Rudolph.
Finally, it was in 1931 that Coca-Cola featured the character for the first time in its winter advertising campaign. Starting in 1945, Americans firmly established all the magic of our modern Christmas: a family gathering, a decorated tree, and presents under it.
To tell or not to tell the legend of Santa Claus: asking yourself the right questions as a parent
Because an older child spilled the beans at school, because grandparents let something slip, or because they heard information on the radio or TV, your child has doubts. In truth, Santa Claus might not exist. Before anything else and before starting the discussion, quickly check in with your own feelings.
Santa Claus doesn’t exist: and you, how did you experience it as a child?
Dive back into your memories and childhood emotions to better anticipate your child’s reaction and feelings. You might find in those recollections the keys to announcing it with empathy and kindness, gently and smoothly.
The story of Santa Claus—a little lie like any other?
According to Einstein and his theory of relativity, the simultaneity of events depends on the observer. In other words, everyone can perceive things differently depending on their own criteria. The myth of Santa is no exception. Childhood magic or gentle untruth—it depends on your perspective.
What is the foundation of your relationship with your child?
This is a question that could help you answer all the others, as it addresses your human sensitivity, your personal and religious beliefs, as well as your personal approach to parenting.
Will your loved ones follow and respect your choice?
Whatever your version of Christmas magic, make sure that your partner, your parents, your family, and your friends are on the same page with your choice. If not, beware of heated discussions in front of the tree and little comments that slip out!
5 tips for talking about "Santa Claus" more serenely
- Wait for the right moment. For little ones, in preschool and up to about age 7, everyone plays along with the Santa myth—from school and aftercare to the babysitter and Santas in the street. Telling them the truth too early, or talking about it before they start to have doubts of their own, may leave your child feeling uncomfortable or out of step.
- Put yourself in your child’s shoes. Even if you think it’s time to explain that the presents under the tree are from parents and no one comes down the chimney (especially since you don’t have one), you don’t want to upset your child. To find the right words, imagine yourself at their age and say it in a way they would understand.
- Take the time to answer. Such a revelation might trigger a flurry of questions: why doesn’t Santa Claus exist? Why did you tell me this story? Who brings the presents? And the elves? And the reindeer? And the sleigh? Who are the men in red suits in the stores? Etc. By being gentle and patient, you will be able to answer more easily.
- Accept your child’s reaction. Sad, angry, or even disappointed, your child may cry, yell, or sulk for a while. That’s normal. Let the emotions run their course and resume the conversation when your child is ready. If they want to keep believing in the magic of Christmas, let them. There’s never any rush to let go of their childhood dreams.
- Create new traditions together. How will you celebrate Christmas your way? Ask those around you. Come up with a meal idea, a party, or unexpected guests. You can also invite your child to become Santa themselves by making loved ones happy—a way to honor their new maturity.
And if the mere thought of this conversation makes you anxious, remember—there’s a good chance that other children will break the magic of Christmas for you by revealing the truth!
At what age should you tell your child that Santa Claus doesn’t exist?
There’s no set age to tell your child that Santa Claus doesn’t exist. Some are ready at 5 or 6 years old, while others might wait until they’re 8 or 9. Watch your child and see if they start questioning people around them or wondering aloud. If so, it’s a sign they are ready to hear the truth.
How do you tell your child that Santa Claus doesn’t exist?
It’s important to be honest, but also to be very gentle when telling your child that Santa Claus doesn’t exist. Reassure them by explaining that it’s a wonderful story, filled with kindness and generosity, that has been told for centuries. This is how families pass on the spirit of Christmas.
What should I do if my child is upset or disappointed to learn that Santa Claus doesn’t exist?
If your child is upset or disappointed to learn that Santa Claus doesn’t exist, give them time to process the information and come to their own understanding. Let them know you understand, that you can talk about it now or later, and above all, that it doesn’t take away from the wonder of the holiday season.
