ARTICLE TABLE OF CONTENTS:
- Work, school, home...: 5 ways to start the back-to-school season on the right foot
- 3 tips to support your baby’s back-to-school transition
- Recognizing and managing mental load
- Mental load: warning signs you shouldn’t ignore
It’s here, the start of the school year! With its wave of new projects, tasks to prepare, school supplies to buy, new extracurricular activities to choose... a whole new rhythm to set, plus the season change to approach. The question remains: who is going to handle the organization and coordination? For most heterosexual couples, it’s clear—women handle it! So much so that this work has a name: the mental load.
Work, school, home...: 5 ways to start the back-to-school season on the right foot
Everyone to bed! (You included)
It’s a classic of back-to-school or returning to work seasons, but getting back to a regular and effective sleep schedule is essential for both children and parents.
To avoid tears, stress, being late, and arguments, put everyone to bed early enough. This way, everyone has time to enjoy their bedtime routines : reading, bedtime stories, reflecting on the day... Everyone can then approach the end of the day with more serenity.
Anticipate every task you possibly can
From the grocery list to the clothes your baby will wear this week, including the choice of dinners or keeping track of upcoming birthdays you can’t miss—plan ahead for everything you can before the start.
Careful, the idea is not to overload your last days of vacation and risk burning out! Instead, we advise you to set aside 15 to 30 minutes on a regular basis when you feel good, available, and rested, to plan things out. Every item checked off your to-do list is mental load freed.
Unload and release the stress
Literally and figuratively, unloading your bag feels great! In the literal sense, get rid of the last grains of sand and make sure your sunscreen isn’t still in your cosmetic bag. Figuratively, tell anyone who will listen (or won’t, for that matter) how this back-to-school season frustrates you, excites you, delights you, depresses you, or simply tires you—because it just feels good to do so.
Get the whole family involved
For most women, household management = mental load. Groceries, medical and/or vet appointments, extracurricular activities, forms to fill out, gifts to buy, family gatherings to organize... The list is long and never really ends.
For a lighter life, share the household tasks at home! Everyone should be responsible for their own things, and for the rest, let’s hear it for distribution and fairness in the couple.
Don’t force yourself and stay true to YOU
Back to school, returning to work , launching a business, a new product, or getting back into an old routine—nothing beats being genuine for your mental health.
To avoid as many pressures as possible and free yourself from the mental load often accompanying them, always stay true to yourself, no matter what (or who) you face! Dare to say “no,” “I don’t know,” “I don’t like it,” or “I don’t want to” whenever you feel the need.
3 tips to support your baby’s back-to-school transition
Flexibility with schedules
Whether it’s your baby’s first days in daycare or their first time at school, if possible, take the time to bring and pick up your little one. Also anticipate the possibility of being called earlier during the day. Because a relaxed baby helps you gain greater inner peace and calm, your mental load will benefit as well.
Daily routines and benchmarks
To clear your mind, create rituals and set up routines. This is especially true for very young children. Thanks to these cues, your baby won’t be caught off guard. Every ritual you set up signals the next step in their day.
- Checking the diaper bag at the same time every morning gives baby the signal to start the day.
- Using a comfort toy, a tissue, a blanket, etc.—to slip into the daycare bag or bring to school—links you to your child’s daycare or school experience.
Trust your child
We know it, you know it, babies have an amazing ability to adapt. Trusting them helps relieve a lot of stress and mental load.
The bed isn’t the same in daycare as it is at home? At daycare, they use a cup instead of a sippy? The dorm shutters aren’t fully closed, unlike at your place? Don’t try to revolutionize routines at home or adapt the group’s approach to your baby. What doesn’t work for you at home may work at daycare or school—and vice versa.
Recognizing and managing mental load
The labor law glossary defines mental load as “all the demands placed on the brain over a given period.”
However, in the 21st century, mental load is everywhere; the demands are constant, and—within the family—are mostly directed at women. In fact, it’s often during pregnancy that a future mother learns to manage her child’s needs. This habit continues after birth and doesn’t go away after returning to work.
Mental load: warning signs you shouldn’t ignore
- You’re constantly tired, impatient and even irritable. This is the beginning of physical and mental exhaustion.
- You feel depressed. You think you’ll never make it, that you can’t handle being a mom, household manager, cook, partner, employee, entrepreneur... and for good reason!
- You gradually lose the desire to go out, see friends and family, or take part in activities... Even your libido and your relationship can suffer from it.
Of course, written out clearly, these symptoms seem obvious. Yet, mental load (or mental exhaustion) should not be taken lightly. If you recognize yourself in the first sign, act before you reach the second! Let go, forget perfection, make time just for you, talk with your partner, ask your parents for help, see a professional, or go on a solo vacation if you can. Do whatever you can to prevent burnout!
