ARTICLE SUMMARY:
- To have confidence, be kind to yourself
- Becoming a parent alongside your child
- 5 confidence-boosting tips
Since your child was born, you’ve constantly been adjusting daily routines, boundaries, and your approach. So, experiencing moments of doubt and questioning yourself is perfectly normal. Still, when uncertainty turns into hesitation, confusion, or anxiety, everything becomes more complicated. Fortunately, learning to be kind to yourself is one of the keys to moving forward and trusting yourself more easily as a parent.
To have confidence, be kind to yourself
First, because taking care of a baby requires a lot of energy. So, never feel guilty about taking time for yourself, or sleeping whenever you can. Feeling good in your own body and in tune with your life helps you make the right decisions and trust yourself.
Next, being kind to yourself gives you the right to make mistakes. And, it is by accepting to make mistakes, by accepting to do your best, that you learn to discover yourself, get used to your new role, and build confidence alongside your child.
Demystifying the idea of the “good parent” may be the first step. A good parent is without a doubt a parent who loves their child, ensures their health, well-being, calm, and safety. With their strengths, their story, their weaknesses, and their flaws. At no point do you need to be perfect. Unless your name is Mary Poppins.
Becoming a parent alongside your child
“We are not born parents; we become them.” Seldom has a phrase been so true. Indeed, there is neither a lesson nor a magic formula to follow in order to become a parent. The learning happens gradually, over time and through experience.
Like all parents, you ask yourself questions and you make mistakes. But you learn to know yourself and get to know your child. By watching them. By rocking them. By dressing them. During their sleep. Gradually, you learn to recognize their cries and their tears. You know what they like to eat and what kind of music they want to listen to. But because these things change month after month, you doubt yourself and start over again.
To succeed, you must trust yourself, rely on your intuition and listen only to the small voice that tells you you’re on the right track.
5 confidence-boosting tips
Trust yourself and recognize your worth
This is the time to list everything you have accomplished and everything you do well with your child. Write down your strengths. Remember what he or she loved. Value yourself instead of always praising other parents’ achievements. Self-confidence is not innate; it must be practiced.
Let go and distance yourself from criticism
Some viewpoints and personal experiences are interesting, but not all of them. To gain confidence, sort through grandmother’s advice, stories that only belong to the people who lived them, and truly helpful, thoughtful tips.
Take care of yourself and prioritize your efforts
Get some rest, sleep whenever you can, move around, eat well, and if possible, prioritize your “To Do list” for days when things are urgent or discouragement sets in. Starting the dishwasher or folding laundry can wait until you’re done playing with your baby (unless you’re truly out of plates or underwear, which almost never actually happens!).
To build self-confidence, allow yourself to make mistakes
Every day your child learns. So do you. To become their parent. And to learn well, you need to make mistakes. It’s not a big deal if you arrive late to an appointment or if their pajamas get dirty on the way and you don’t have a change of clothes. Trust yourself and own the way you handle everyday life.
Build confidence and stay true to yourself
Parenting is not a competition. Being a parent is something you live and feel each day. You don’t need to be a perfect mom, first because your child doesn’t need that, and also because what others think drops to second, third, or even fourth place and beyond, compared to your child’s happiness.
