Traumatic Birth: How to Overcome the Experience

ARTICLE SUMMARY:

Approximately 30% of births described as traumatic
Emergency C-section, intense pain, loss of control... birth traumas are numerous
How does perinatal trauma manifest?
What support should be provided to the new mother?

This was supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life. At least, that's how you had imagined it both before and during your pregnancy. The day of your delivery, the birth of your child. Yet, when you look back, nothing went as you had hoped. Rush, lack of information, lack of consideration, anxiety, pain, tears... only to end up with a painful birth. Even though today you are the happy mother of one or more children, it took you months, maybe even years to put words to your experience of motherhood. From dream to reality, traumatic childbirth affects about a third of surveyed women.

Approximately 30% of births described as traumatic

According to data published by PATTCH (Prevention and Treatment of Traumatic Childbirth), between 25% and 34% of women describe their childbirth as traumatic. According to data published by CAIRN, in 2002, 33% of surveyed women qualified the birth of their child as a trauma.

So, saying that a birth does not go as planned is sometimes an understatement. From a negative experience to a traumatic one, each woman lives and feels each stage of the process differently.

According to PATTCH, a birth is described as traumatic when “the person affected by the trauma (mother, father, or witness) is concerned for the life of the mother or baby, or there is a serious threat to the physical or emotional integrity of the mother or baby.”

Emergency C-section, intense pain, loss of control... birth traumas are numerous

A difficult birth leaves its mark. When the desire for a natural labor turns into an emergency C-section, the story that is lived is nothing like the story that is told. When an episiotomy is performed without asking questions, the feelings of loss of control and dispossession can be intense.

Stories like these, accounts of rushed births, hurried staff, a series of health problems, poorly or untreated pain... there are thousands, and yet every one is unique in its importance. Disorienting, unexpected, incomprehensible... sometimes “birth trauma” is the right term.

How to recognize perinatal trauma?

After childbirth, some mothers experience the baby blues, no matter what the circumstances of their baby's birth were. However, if severe fatigue is accompanied by mood disorders, dark thoughts, nightmares, even flashbacks related to the birth, and this state persists over time, the situation may be more complicated. A postpartum depression or post-traumatic stress disorder can then be diagnosed.

Failure and disappointment: two common feelings

The trauma of a difficult birth is rooted above all in the mother's feelings. Because her child's birth did not go as she imagined, she thinks she was not good enough, believes that she missed something. This leads to sadness, frustration, and a sense of failure, which can be hard to overcome.

Here, the dogma of a happy birth is very present. So much so that some mothers do not dare speak about their disappointment and the shock caused by their delivery. Because society as a whole expects them to be happy, they choose not to express their feelings, even if it increases their distress.

What support should be provided to the new mother?

A difficult birth can cause distress that may last over time. To support the mother, ease her pain, and help her slowly accept and process this traumatic event, the people around her play a crucial role.

The first step is acknowledgment of emotions. Talking it out, but above all, active listening, come next. And finally, small acts of care, attention, caresses, time given... can also help her move toward healing.

If childbirth images linger, if nightmares occur, if you avoid thinking about your delivery or your memories are preventing you from functioning normally with yourself, your family, or your baby, do not hesitate to seek help.

Talk to the obstetric team during your postpartum appointments, your primary care physician, your midwife... See a hypnotherapist, a sophrologist, a psychotherapist... Join a support group or meet with other mothers who are in the same situation as you.

How can things change?

Apart from the procedures performed, trauma often comes from the mismatch between how each woman envisions her childbirth and what she actually experiences on the day her child is born.

Working on the perception of childbirth, demystifying the beauty of the moment, better supporting couples, offering them more time, more respect, better listening, putting aside the profitability of procedures and valuing their actual benefits... These are just some of the ways that, generation after generation, we can hope to change things.

Childbirth trauma still too little studied

Although post-traumatic stress and its consequences have been studied since the 19th century, their appearance and effects in the context of motherhood have only been the subject of a few rare studies over the past 20 years.

Similarly, just as there seems to be only one place to give birth in France (in 2016, only 5,000 out of 784,000 births took place outside a hospital or maternity unit, that is less than 1%), the perception of childbirth also seems like it should be unique and positive. “It could have been worse.” “It will go better next time.” “It’s easier with the second one.” “The most important thing is that your baby is well.” So many things we urgently need to stop hearing, so many feelings that must no longer be silenced, to support conscious childbirth and to respect patients as women as well as mothers in every sense of the word.

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