What could be more unique than a pregnancy? Even mothers with several children agree: each one unfolds differently. That's why, as an expecting mother and future parents, you may have a thousand and one questions about motherhood and its mysteries. Some questions are funny, sensitive, or difficult to ask—we will try to put words to them together.
TABLE OF CONTENTS:
- The First 1,000 Days as a Family and You, and You, and You
- Pregnancy in Question
- 5 Questions Expecting Moms Have About Giving Birth
- Breastfed or Bottle-fed: All the Tips to Properly Nourish Baby
- Maternal Emotions and the Desire for a Child
- Becoming Parents: What Is Life as a Couple Like After Having a Child?
The First 1,000 Days as a Family and You, and You, and You
The first 1,000 days of a baby's life span from the beginning of pregnancy to the child’s second birthday. So, a little less than 3 years filled with doubts, fears, challenges, learning, immense joy, and sometimes pain—during which motherhood is born and blossoms.
It is perfectly normal for you to wonder about the right way to do things, your child’s well-being, your relationship, and your feelings and emotions. It's also perfectly normal not to find all the answers—at least not always easily.
During this time, make sure you have a strong support system, always try to gain perspective, and above all, ask for help; whether it’s your OB-GYN, your midwife, your mother, your friends... Regardless of surprise or misunderstandings, every question is legitimate—especially those of an expecting or young mother.
Pregnancy in Question
When should I announce my pregnancy?
Past the initial surprise, the first shock, the incredible joy of finding out (you're expecting a child!), the question quickly arises: to whom, when, and how do you share the big news? Here, two camps exist. On one side, those who love making a big announcement, unfiltered and as soon as possible. On the other, couples who prefer to wait until they feel certain and delay announcing the pregnancy until after 12 weeks and the first dating ultrasound.
Why don’t I like being pregnant?
Some expectant mothers don't enjoy being pregnant or don’t fully embrace this period. The reasons can include pregnancy discomforts (hello nausea, fatigue, cramps, weight gain, stretch marks...), stress, frequent medical appointments, and increased sensitivity on all levels... So it's completely normal if you find this period a difficult one.
How can I know if I will be a good mother?
All kinds of mothers exist in nature—you know it, and so do we. While it’s hard to predict the future and know what kind of mother you’ll be, the best way to enjoy motherhood is probably to trust yourself. From the beginning, focus on gentleness and kindness—towards your child, but also towards yourself.
And because there’s no such thing as a perfect parent, try to be forgiving of each other. This will prevent some frustrations and unnecessary pressure. Remember, as new parents, you’re both beginners.
While pregnant, can I sunbathe, wear makeup, and wear high heels?
When you're pregnant, you can do just about anything—or almost. Sunbathing? Yes, but in small doses (for that vitamin D!), well protected with a suitable sunscreen and a wide hat to prevent the appearance of melasma (pregnancy mask).
When it comes to makeup, pay close attention to the ingredients in your products, avoiding things like essential oils and potentially allergenic ingredients. This may be a great time to give your skin a break or try out skincare lines for pregnant women.
Finally, there’s nothing stopping you from wearing heels while waiting for baby, but you’ll probably find that a pair of New Balances will quickly become a better fit for your comfort.
Can I sleep on my stomach?
Yes! It may sound surprising, but while you're pregnant, you can sleep on your stomach as long as you find the position comfortable for you. As for baby, they are perfectly protected; you won't crush them.
How can I avoid constipation for 9 months?
Among pregnancy discomforts, functional constipation can be difficult and even painful. If you’re experiencing this, don’t worry—your baby isn’t at risk. For you, it’s time to start a fiber-rich diet, eat fruits and vegetables—especially prunes—and drink mineral water, accompanied by daily long walks to get your digestion moving.
5 Questions Expecting Moms Have About Giving Birth
How do I know when I will go into labor?
This is the big question on every expectant mother's mind. The estimated due date (EDD) is calculated from the date of the last ovulation plus 9 months. For example, if your last period was March 3, ovulation took place around March 17 (14 days later). That would set your EDD at December 17.
How long does labor last?
Again, it depends. Is it your first delivery? Is your baby large? What is their position in your belly? And your position for delivery? Healthcare professionals estimate the average duration of a first labor at 16 hours, dropping to 6 hours for the second, but these averages can vary greatly from one woman to another.
As an expectant mother, once labor begins, you have no choice but to power through until your baby arrives. However, massage, support, and local anesthesia can help you muster enough energy.
For the father-to-be, you can choose to support your partner or wait nearby. In either case, it’s best to avoid complaining about being tired or uncomfortable—those comments might not be well received!
How can I manage labor pains?
Depending on your delivery and the level of pain, you have two options. The medical route typically includes a epidural or a spinal anesthesia in the case of a C-section. Non-medical options focus on your delivery position, moving during labor, breathing techniques, self-hypnosis, mental preparation, massage, or even using water (baths or showers) for relief.
Can I request an epidural at the last minute?
Yes, you can request an epidural whenever you want, even if you initially declined it. Just note that it can take up to 30 minutes to take effect, and there are some contraindications and side effects such as nausea or headaches.
If I have a C-section, can my partner be present?
As is often said, "it depends." In general, your partner can attend your C-section if it’s scheduled and without complications. You also need to get approval from the hospital in advance.
Will I stay awake during the C-section?
In most cases, it is possible for the mother to remain awake during a C-section. A sterile surgical drape is placed at your chest, and a regional anesthesia is administered to numb the lower half of your body. This allows you to see and hold your newborn right away.
How can I avoid an episiotomy?
While there are no guarantees, childbirth preparation can give you some tips to improve your odds. Perineal massage and exercises, controlled pushing, and good stress management may help prevent tears and an episiotomy.
Of course, it also depends on your build—your body, your pelvis, and your baby's size.
Breastfed or Bottle-fed: All the Tips to Properly Nourish Baby
How can I tell if my baby is eating enough?
It’s estimated that a breastfed newborn needs 8 feedings every 24 hours during the first month. For bottle-fed newborns, calculate 2–3 fl oz of milk per pound of body weight divided across several bottles throughout the day.
That said, if your infant seems content, if you feel they are doing well, if they are pleasant most of the time, if they fill their diapers several times a day, and if they gain weight regularly, you can rest assured—they are getting enough to eat. However, if you ever have doubts, don’t hesitate to ask your doctor.
Why does my baby want to nurse all the time?
A newborn may want to nurse for several reasons: they are hungry or thirsty, their need for sucking is active, they want cuddles or comfort... For a breastfed baby, everything happens at the breast. In fact, some babies ask for it more often than others. If that's your child, as long as it's comfortable for you, let them nurse as much as they like—the routine will naturally settle.
If breastfeeding is well established and you agree with the idea, you can also offer your baby a physiologically shaped pacifier to partially give yourself a break.
How long should I breastfeed? And how long should each session be?
The WHO recommends exclusive breastfeeding for at least 6 months after birth, or as long as it works for mother and child.
As for breastfeeding sessions, the ideal duration is whenever your baby is satisfied. However, a feeding can last 10 to 30 minutes per breast, depending on your child’s age and hunger.
I want to wean my baby—is that a bad idea?
In motherhood, there are no bad ideas as long as they are kind and thoughtful. So if you want to wean your baby and feel the time is right, go for it. Élhée even offers a bottle designed to take over.
Just make sure you are fully ready, that your child is too, that you have the time required to make the transition from breastfeeding to bottle calmly, and that your child is in good health.
What’s the best bottle for my baby?
The best bottle is the one that suits your baby's age and habits. Yes, even at this age, babies already have their preferences! Design, materials, nipple shape, size, and color—all can influence which model your baby will choose.
For example, if your baby has a stomachache after each meal, an anti-colic bottle might become their favorite. And if your little one is already walking, they might enjoy an unbreakable bottle they can carry everywhere, drop, and pick up easily.
If you're having trouble with your current bottle, don’t hesitate to offer others and see how your baby reacts. You can also choose based on your own preferences (French-made, healthy, handy, stylish, etc.). If your baby adopts it, you’ve found the right one.
Do I need to sterilize the pacifier and bottle?
No, you no longer need to sterilize bottles and nipples. Of course, you can boil them, use a sterilizer, or cold-sterilize if you prefer, but thorough washing by hand with gentle soap is plenty sufficient.
What formula should I choose, and how do I know if it is right for my baby?
Bottles can be filled with breast milk or infant formula. To choose the formula, consider your baby’s age (there are formulas for 0–6 months, 6–12 months, and 12 months and up) and their nutritional and health needs (preemie formula, hypoallergenic, anti-reflux, etc.).
If the formula is suitable, your baby will seem calm after every bottle, gain weight and grow well, fill their diapers regularly, and have no problems feeding. Enjoy those milky meals!
Maternal Emotions and the Desire for a Child
When does the fatigue from childbirth fade?
When will your body feel like it did before pregnancy? Again, it depends on your physical health before delivery, your childbirth experience, your postpartum period, and the support you receive during this time.
Energy gradually returns about 8 weeks after birth, but getting back in shape can take much longer—especially if you had emergency surgery like a C-section or birthed multiples.
Nothing really prepares you for parental exhaustion and its challenges, not even advice telling you to sleep whenever you can before baby arrives. So yes, sleep as much as possible, but keep in mind that this difficult phase won’t last forever. You'll eventually make up the lost sleep.
When will I get my pre-baby body back?
This is a tough one to answer since so many factors are involved. Are you generally active? Did you exercise during these 9 months? Did you gain significant weight before your baby was born? How is your diet? Also, did you know that breastfeeding can play a role in returning you to your pre-pregnancy weight?
After the arrival of your child, to feel good in your skin again, treat yourself to delicious, balanced meals (ask for help with prep), drink plenty of water, ease back into exercise, be patient, and don’t compare yourself to other moms. Your metabolism and mindset are unique, and so is your journey back to wellness.
How can I recognize postpartum depression?
Beyond just feeling tired (however long or intense), postpartum depression is recognized by certain signs you shouldn’t ignore. Persistent sadness, irritability, chronic lack of energy, disrupted sleep and appetite, feelings of guilt or worthlessness, and a loss of interest in your usual activities or your baby are all reasons to open up or seek medical help.
And because parenting is a shared experience, did you know postpartum depression can also affect your partner?
Is it normal to regret having a child?
Yes—although rarely talked about, maternal regret is a natural feeling, often linked to a traumatic birth, feelings of loss, overwhelming mental burden, and societal pressure for motherhood to always feel fulfilling.
If you think you feel this way, if you regret becoming a mother, if motherhood feels too heavy, talk about it. Find someone you trust—a doctor or a friend—and share how you’re feeling openly. Break the taboo.
And since parenthood is rarely a peaceful cruise, don’t make a habit of hiding your unhappiness. Speak up whenever you can, whenever something bothers you, whenever you need to, especially to your partner. The parent-child relationship, just like breastfeeding or maternal instinct (which isn’t actually innate, contrary to the name), is sometimes learned. Give yourself that time.
Becoming Parents: What Is Life as a Couple Like After Having a Child?
Since giving birth, I have no libido—what can I do?
With a new baby, nothing is simple for a couple. Both partners have to find their place and embrace their new role in the family, all while coping with exhaustion, parenting challenges, and changes to daily life. It’s therefore normal for new parents’ sex life to take a backseat. If you, as a woman, are not ready to be intimate with your partner, it’s important to honor that. Talk openly and honestly.
Explain your exhaustion, pain, and that your focus is entirely on your baby. If you can (for example, with the help of grandparents), set aside time together to reconnect. But above all, give yourself time and take care of yourself. Because, what could be more important than reconnecting with yourself to reawaken love?
How can we keep our relationship strong after birth?
For your relationship, having a child is a real upheaval. Overnight, priorities, schedules, routines—everything is different. So to become parents and still remain lovers, while there’s no magic formula, these tips may help: look for a new balance, create intimate moments, keep up daily gestures of affection, be understanding with each other, and communicate. About everything and nothing—but especially about yourselves.
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