- Breastfeeding Means Selflessness: Glory to the Mother
- Partner: Define Your Best Role with Baby!
- You Are the Essential Technical Backup for the Family
- Be an Active Participant in Your Child’s Breastfeeding
- Lighten Your Couple’s Mental Load as Soon as Possible
It’s undeniable: breastfeeding creates a bubble of intimacy between a mother and her child. However, if you look closely, you’ll see it’s possible to enter that bubble and share, as a couple or even as a trio, your baby’s feedings. From encouragements to logistical support and managing bottles, the role of the second parent can take many forms, depending on their eagerness and involvement throughout the baby’s first months of life. Dad, second mom, second dad, or co-parent, between patience, anticipation, support, and admiration, discover how to practice shared breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding Means Selflessness: Glory to the Mother
Breastfeeding is no trivial act. After the upheaval of childbirth, exclusively nursing a baby involves true selflessness for the mother.
Day and night, whether tired or not, she is always available. For months on end, she pays attention to her diet, chooses galactagogue foods, and avoids many others. At home, with friends, with family, in public spaces—everywhere—she stands by her decision (sometimes controversial) to breastfeed her child. In both body and private life, she also accepts discomfort and sometimes pain, all for the well-being and health of her baby. The breastfeeding mother is a fighter! Still, by being present at her side, you can help her.
- Support her in her choices as a mother, accompany her in her journey, cherish her for what she’s doing, and comfort her in moments of doubt.
- Provide her with emotional and physical support in cases of fatigue, difficulties latching baby, or pain… Always be present, attentive, and available, especially since she may not show you how much she needs it.
- Day by day, surround both of them with protection and love. Form an unshakeable trio, stand up for her choices and approach, especially when it comes to sensitive subjects like breastfeeding in public.
Partner: Define Your Best Role with Baby!
When a baby is born, the entire family’s organization is turned upside down. Sometimes it’s hard to find your place between the new mother and her newborn. You may feel frustrated, misunderstood, or left out. Talk and try different set-ups together! You’ll no doubt end up finding your groove and creating wonderful harmony at home.
Also, to practice shared breastfeeding, the best role you can play is the one you choose for yourself. Decide for yourself where you feel most comfortable and when you feel most helpful to your family. Don’t underestimate yourself, and don’t set boundaries for your involvement. [su_highlight background="#FCF3F0"]Just because you’re not the one nursing doesn’t mean you can’t be involved in breastfeeding[/su_highlight].
You Are the Essential Technical Backup for the Family
Never let anyone doubt it! When your spouse is breastfeeding, her whole focus is on feeding her baby, helping them latch, and making sure they’re comfortable—often at the expense of her own comfort. Thankfully, you are there to assist and provide the necessary logistical support.
- Make breastfeeding more comfortable: offer her the right chair, bring her a soft blanket, and when out and about, find the best spots for her to nurse without disturbance...
- Bring her breastfeeding accessories (extra pillows, gentle nightlight for nighttime feeds, burp cloth…)
- Prepare a light snack so she can eat and drink (especially at the beginning, when feedings are frequent, and even more so if baby takes their time nursing). Breast milk is mostly water, so breastfeeding moms need to hydrate regularly.
Shared Breastfeeding: Be an Active Participant with Your Child
You might not realize just how much you can get involved—again and again—in your child’s breastfeeding, even if you’re not nursing yourself.
At Night, Bring Mom and Baby Together for Feedings
When baby wakes up to nurse, go get your little one from their bed and bring them into your bed, next to your partner. This gives her time to wake up and get ready before welcoming baby into her arms.
During the day, keep an eye on the time to know when it’s time to feed. If you can figure out your newborn’s natural rhythm, you’ll (maybe not every time, but at least sometimes) anticipate their need for milk, their cries, and help avoid a good number of stressful or complicated situations.
Use Skin-to-Skin to Help Soothe Your Baby
Sometimes, mom isn’t immediately available or baby’s feeding routine is a little off? The result: baby is crying their eyes out and screaming in your arms.
Take the soothing approach and try skin-to-skin contact. It’s very possible that cuddling close to you will calm your child enough to give mom time to come back or get settled. And just like that, who’s today’s hero?
Take Over with Bottles of Breast Milk
To play a supporting role worthy of the lead, take control of your child’s feeding by offering bottles of breast milk! Combination feeding is a great solution for parents who want to share feeding responsibilities.
How does it work? In advance, mom prepares the breast pump, expresses a little milk each day, and stores it in the fridge or freezer. When you need it, gently defrost the amount you require or warm it up in a bottle warmer.
A Bottle Designed for Combination Feeding
For your baby’s health and everyone’s enjoyment, Élhée has created a bottle as healthy as the milk it holds. Made with medical-grade silicone for a soft touch and equipped with a physiological nipple to encourage sucking and digestion, our bibRond, eco-designed and made in France, offers the innovative design of an emotional object meant to be treasured for years. Maybe you’ll be the next ones to try it?
Lighten Your Couple’s Mental Load as Soon as Possible
Upheaval, revolution, earthquake… There are never enough superlatives to describe the (sometimes tumultuous) arrival of a baby. Long-awaited and much wanted, they immediately command all your attention—and energy—for quite some time. That’s why, regularly or at least in those early days, don’t hesitate to postpone anything that isn’t urgent, put things in perspective, and relax together, as a team.
- Whenever possible, take the lead on meal management and sharing household chores, prepare larger quantities to reheat, and why not use your 4 a.m. insomnia to put together a delicious breakfast?
- Drop your other children off with friends or grandparents for a few days and enjoy some restful time to get organized in peace, just the three of you.
- Dad or co-parent, take special moments with your baby, outside of feedings. Bathe them or take them out for a stroller walk while mom rests. It’s an excellent way to build and strengthen your emerging bond.
No matter how you organize yourselves, enjoy yourselves, or take time to decompress—don’t hesitate. Over the years, opportunities won’t always come up when you need them! Plus, you’ll be that much more ready to cherish the joys of parenthood, be amazed together, and find that beautiful balance that shapes your life.
Pregnancy, childbirth, and then breastfeeding often reshape a couple’s intimate relationship. Sometimes harmonious and even heightened, other times almost nonexistent and avoided—it all depends on each person’s desires and feelings. Once again, take time to talk openly and share your feelings: be patient with each other, and everything will work out!
