SUMMARY:
Breastfeeding on a set schedule versus breastfeeding on demand—what's the difference, and above all, which is the best solution for you and your baby?
How to nurse on demand?
The principle of breastfeeding on demand is simple: justgive your child the breast whenever and as long as they ask for it. But that's the principle.
In practice, to breastfeed on demand and not feel "overwhelmed" by your baby, learning to recognize hunger cues is a good place to start. But that is also where it gets complicated. Hunger, tiredness, infant colic or teething, dirty diaper or the need for cuddles—for the first months, it’s not always easy to figure out what’s going on.
Depending on the baby’s rhythm, a baby up to 6 months nurses an average of 8 times in 24 hours. That's as many opportunities for you to wonder if your child is hungry and if it's time to offer the breast.
In fact, to make themselves understood, your baby will send you many cues, some clearer and more direct than others, but all expressing their need.
Recognizing when your baby is hungry
Even though they can’t speak, your baby is able to let you know when they're hungry. All physical, these clues—also called “wake signs”—gradually build up to the most urgent one: crying.
- It all starts with a bit of restlessness. Whether baby is awake or asleep, they move, turn their head, maybe open their mouth and can make small noises.
- After that—at this stage baby is fully awake— sucking motions become more noticeable. They look for the breast, bring their hands to their mouth and may try to suck on their skin, hands, or a piece of fabric.
- Only then does baby start to cry, when their hunger becomes unbearable.
Organizing yourself to be able to nurse "all the time"
Day or night, at home and out and about, if you choose exclusive and on-demand breastfeeding for your baby, be prepared to breastfeed anywhere and at any time.
At home is where it's easiest. Pick one or several comfortable and quiet spots (the bed, a rocking chair, etc.) where you can settle in with your child without too many interruptions. Some feedings can last 30 minutes or more if baby takes their time.
There, leave all your nursing supplies: muslin, nursing pads, bib, diaper, book, pillows, water bottle, snacks, blankets, nipple cream… whatever you need. In a basket, bag, or bin, you’ll have everything within arm’s reach.
The rest of the time, if your baby’s rhythm and your daily routine allow, try giving one feeding before heading out and another when you get back.
Otherwise, on walks, running errands, at friends’ homes… look for places when you arrive that are off to the side, comfortable enough, and let you sit comfortably with your baby.
Nursing on demand during the first month
Nursing on demand is a real adventure. However, it's especially during the first month that your attention to your baby and patience with yourself are most needed. Lactation can be established very quickly, but it can also be a tiring and confusing learning curve.
During the day, your newborn usually feeds about every two or three hours, on average. It’s this high frequency that kickstarts and regulates your milk production, gives you the chance to spot your baby's early hunger signals, and work out any latch issues.
After the first 4 to 6 weeks, your baby's feedings become stronger and more efficient. You can continue with on-demand nursing, while gently introducing a rhythm that may be more in tune with your own needs.
If nursed on demand, can baby drink too much or not enough?
To be sure your baby is getting enough, let them nurse as much as they want. Then offer them the other breast to see if they still need to eat. That’s it!
Now is also a good time to mention a few tips for engorgement and pain. To help alternate each feeding between your right and left breast, download a breastfeeding tracking app (Baby Manager, My Baby: Breastfeeding, etc.) or:
- Pin a safety pin on the correct side of your bra strap,
- Use a nursing pillow and switch sides at each feeding,
- Use one of your rings as a breastfeeding ring by wearing it on the same side as the last breast you offered.
Following baby's needs and finding the right rhythm
Once you’re past those early weeks and nursing is well established, try to observe your child even more carefully. The goal? That baby no longer has to ask for their feeding, that you can organize yourself more easily, and that your little one starts finding their own rhythm.
To help, you can (in addition to other feedings) offer the breast at regular times, similar to how you serve bigger kids their meals at the same time every day.
The magic and uniqueness of every breastfeeding journey is truly special. Even so, nursing on demand is recommended during the first month because it lets your baby manage their own nutritional needs, helps establish milk supply, and creates that special bond between a mother and her nursed baby.
Starting from about 6 weeks, or more importantly when you feel the time is right and your motherly instinct encourages you, trust yourself—it’s the strongest guide. That’s when you can slowly ease into a more regular breastfeeding routine.
