Milk Blues: Overcoming Post-Weaning Depression

Milk Blues: The Difficulty of Ending Breastfeeding
When Baby Decides on Their Own to Stop Nursing
Taking a Step Back and Rationalizing to Better Analyze
A New Chapter Begins, How to Stay Positive

Maternity is often portrayed as an oasis of tenderness filled with love, fulfillment, and care. A wonderful and powerful experience between a mother and her child. Yet, throughout pregnancy and even after birth, every woman experiences a range of physical and psychological changes. Each is tied to multiple—sometimes conflicting—feelings. This is true for the well-known baby blues, but also for the lesser-known milk blues.

First coined in 2019 by JollyMama, the term reveals a sometimes profound sense of unease that existed long before it was identified: post-weaning depression.

Milk Blues: The Difficulty of Ending Breastfeeding

Baby breastfeeding before weaning and beginning Élhée bottle feeding

It is often said that the weaning period can be complicated for babies. That they have trouble letting go of the breast and accepting the bottle. That feedings become unpredictable and finding a new balance may take time.

On the other hand, the discomfort some mothers experience is discussed far too rarely. Weaning because of work, decreased milk supply, a baby who simply no longer wants to nurse… It is the end of a chapter and the beginning of a new one, which can feel like a real separation. Nostalgia, sadness, feelings of failure, guilt, abandonment… So many strong emotions, often internalized and rarely expressed, that form the complexity of milk blues.

Physiological Causes

Breastfeeding creates a powerful physical and emotional bond between mother and child. After spending months nestled in their mother’s belly, the baby is now connected through nursing, the act that almost solely stimulates milk production through suction.

Hormonal Drop

The act of breastfeeding releases endorphins, also known as feel-good hormones. When weaning happens, their levels drop, which often also causes a drop in mood.

It's not uncommon for this transition to coincide with the return of your period, another delicate phase when female hormone levels fluctuate wildly. This is because the drop in prolactin, previously stimulated by nursing, now triggers menstruation—which may not always be expected.

Numerous Physical Changes

To breastfeed, every woman needs to eat enough (and eat well) to produce rich, nutritious milk for her baby. So, weaning can be a delicate time if your diet isn’t properly adapted.

At the same time, your breasts, which were round and full while nourishing your baby, deflate and may seem empty as they return to their pre-pregnancy size. These changes, on top of so many others, can be hard to deal with and may give women a body image that’s tough to accept.

A Loss of Physical Closeness with Baby

Breastfeeding means unique moments alone with your child. Skin-to-skin, cuddles, eye contact... minutes and even hours snuggled up together with nothing else existing around you. Weaning your baby means giving up part of that intimacy and that exclusive connection, and coming to terms with the loss.

Mental and Emotional Causes

Milk blues are made up of a multitude of complex feelings, unique to every woman—depending on her personality, support system, and personal history.

A Sense of Guilt

Over the weeks or months of breastfeeding, putting baby to the breast is very often the answer to every need. Crying, sleeplessness, tiredness, need for comfort—nursing soothes all problems.

So, when breastfeeding stops, some women feel lost and struggle to find new ways to quickly respond to their baby's needs. This temporary confusion can often lead to a heavy sense of guilt.

The Feeling of Abandoning Baby

Because they’re no longer feeding directly from their breast, mothers who nursed may sometimes feel a deep sense of abandonment toward their child, as if failing in their duty. Pressure to breastfeed—now recommended by nearly all experts for all infants—can also create intense stress, especially in cases of forced weaning.

When Baby Decides on Their Own to Stop Nursing

One day baby takes the breast, and the next refuses to nurse at all. They may even cry when you offer your milk. Baby seems to have chosen to self-wean, and there's nothing you can do. This refusal might be total and permanent. You have to face it: the time for a bottle and a physiological nipple as a follow-up to breastfeeding has come.

A Deep Sense of Abandonment

A gentle, gradual weaning is always preferable. If that's not the case, what’s sometimes called a nursing strike can be very tough for the mother. Testimonials mention pain, emptiness, and a true emotional break, as well as a dependence on breastfeeding.

Milk blues are, in a way, all of those experiences combined. The outcome of a huge upheaval, physical and emotional changes, and the sum of many complicated feelings that lead some mothers to experience the end of breastfeeding as a painful moment.

Taking a Step Back and Rationalizing to Better Analyze

Pregnancy, breastfeeding—and motherhood in general—bring about all kinds of physical and emotional changes that aren’t always easy to recognize, cope with, or process.

Milk Blues, mom struggling emotionally after stopping breastfeeding

Baby blues or milk blues—before even giving them a name—the best solution is to talk about them.

With the arrival of a child, everything in your life gets shaken up. Your needs, your child’s, your partner’s, those of your older children… And soon, day-to-day demands return, including perhaps those related to your job. You notice your mood changing, getting worse, without really knowing why.

As soon as you start to feel confused, overwhelmed, or simply not yourself, take a pause. Remind yourself that these feelings—even if they seem contradictory—are normal. You are not alone in feeling them. Maybe, however, you’ll be the first to actually talk about them.

After baby has spent months in your belly, then months at your breast, a new chapter awaits, though you may not know exactly what it holds. Trust yourself and trust your little one. Together you’ll find a new balance.

A New Chapter Begins: How to Stay Positive

Weaning your baby makes you sad and already nostalgic. You didn’t expect it to happen so soon, or maybe you just lost track of time, wrapped up in your bubble of love and peace. Thankfully, nothing is final. Soon, your zest for life and joy in sharing it will return.

Consider Mixed (Combination) Feeding

Breastfeeding has ended. To keep sharing its benefits—and especially if you enjoy it—you can pump your milk and continue giving it to your baby in their new bottle. If your little one is prone to colic, see the different criteria on how to choose the right bottle.

Take All the Time You Need

If you can, take your time—take all the time you need to fully experience every stage of combination feeding. If you’ve already started weaning, treat yourself to long bottle feedings, comfortably curled up with baby in a carrier or enjoying skin-to-skin time.

Enjoy Beautiful Bottles

We spent decades dealing with the fragility and weight of glass bottles, followed by the poor quality of plastic ones. A healthy, stylish bottle has long been awaited.

A mother who breastfeeds develops and maintains a deeply affectionate ritual with her child—one that she can now continue beyond breastfeeding thanks to sensory bottles. With their softness and curves, these beautiful bottles mimic the nurturing look of the breast.

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Make Time Just for Yourself

Ending breastfeeding also means creating a new daily schedule—and finding some well-deserved pockets of independence. Plan out some self-care and enjoyable moments for yourself.

Find the list you tucked away—yoga, running, reading, (virtual) exhibitions, manicures, massages—the things you put on hold during pregnancy. Bring all those activities back, simply to enjoy yourself and keep a positive mindset.

Finally, listen to yourself. Be your own first therapist by following what your body and mind tell you. Don’t give in to pressure, don’t feel guilty because of advice-givers, and — as much as possible — never do anything you don’t feel is right for you.

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