Of course, pacifiers are not essential. But in certain situations, they can prove to be very valuable. From birth, many babies show a natural need to suck which helps them calm down, fall asleep... and according to some studies, using a pacifier might even help reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome.
But here's the thing: despite all its benefits, your baby refuses the pacifier, spits it out, or turns away as soon as you offer it. Confusion, frustration, doubt... Rest assured, this refusal is not abnormal at all. And there are simple, respectful ways to better understand what's happening—and maybe help your little one accept it if they feel the need.
CONTENTS:
- First, infants' need to suck
- Why does baby refuse the pacifier?
- How to (re)introduce the pacifier successfully?
- Pacifier and breastfeeding: finding the right balance
- Choochoo: the physiological pacifier suited for baby's needs
First, infants' need to suck
If a baby needs a pacifier (or their thumb), it's to satisfy their non-nutritive sucking need which helps them self-soothe and strengthens their sense of security. On the other hand, nutritive sucking is an innate reflex developed during pregnancy for feeding—at the breast or with a bottle.
Depending on the baby, the need to suck can be more or less pronounced, which explains why some need a pacifier less, but does not explain why others refuse it.
Why does baby refuse the pacifier?
- Inadequate shape: the chosen pacifier doesn't suit baby; they don't like it because it's too large, too thick, or because of its smell.
- Unpleasant smell: the pacifier smells like something. This is often the case with rubber. On the other hand, the medical-grade silicone used to make the Choochoo has the advantage of being totally odorless.
- Mouth pain: teething, canker sores, irritations... can make sucking painful.
- Respiratory discomfort: it's possible that a cold or stuffy nose makes sucking difficult.
- Breastfeeding: what if baby simply prefers the breast?
- Gastroesophageal reflux: because of GER, the pacifier may be associated with the pain from acid reflux.
- Poor sucking reflex: an immature sucking reflex can result in the tongue being poorly positioned. Here, extra-thin physiological pacifiers like the Choochoo can make learning to suck easier thanks to their flexibility.
And what about sudden refusal?
All of a sudden, baby doesn't want the pacifier anymore? Tonight, it's impossible to give it when this morning, they couldn't do without it? This sudden refusal can have several explanations.
Some babies enjoy their pacifier for a while, then develop different preferences, especially between 3 and 6 months when they may turn to their thumb, a lovey, or a soft cloth for comfort.
A change that may also be related to a new routine, such as starting daycare or getting a new nanny—situations to which babies react in their own unique way.
Between 4 and 6 months, a period of intense exploration, your little one may also be less interested in sucking and more into discovering the world with their hands and through their toys.
Lastly, sometimes it's simply the beginning of natural weaning: baby finds their own ways to self-soothe, and no longer needs to suck to be comforted. If this refusal is intentional and does not cause frustration, just leave the pacifier available and offer it from time to time, without insisting.
As parents, handle it without stress
It's usually sleep that will be most affected by pacifier refusal. If your baby is used to falling asleep with their pacifier, they may cry. If they don't use it yet, perhaps that's why you want to offer it.
Why should you stay calm?
- Babies are very sensitive to their parents' stress. If they sense that you are worried or frustrated, it can upset them even more.
- If they refuse the pacifier, it's not necessarily because something is wrong, but maybe just because they're growing, they're changing. See it as a good thing!
Life with a baby is full of stages and new experiences. Don't panic at each one. Wait, observe, don't immediately assume there's a problem (but stay attentive). Disruptions can be temporary.
How to (re) introduce the pacifier successfully?
If baby refuses the pacifier or has recently given it up and you'd like to (re) offer it, we have several practical tips to suggest.
Try different pacifiers: making the right choice is essential
Just like you might prefer oval spoons over round ones, or forks with not-too-long prongs, your baby probably has a preference for the shape, material, and size of their pacifier.
Things you can try:
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Change the shape: some pacifiers are more rounded and similar to the nipple, others are flatter and symmetrical (anatomical), and others (orthodontic and physiological), like the Choochoo, offer a domed side that fits the palate and a flatter side to sit on the tongue.
- Vary the material: soft and transparent silicone or more natural rubber that's also more odorous.
- Check the size: 0-6 months, 6-12 months, or 6-18 months depending on the brand. A pacifier that's too big or too stiff can be uncomfortable.
Tip from Élhée: if your baby is bottle-fed, choose a pacifier that resembles their bottle nipple.
Offer the pacifier when baby is calm
To prevent your child from associating the pacifier with stressful or painful moments, avoid giving or reintroducing it when they're crying or agitated. While these may normally be good moments, after a pacifier refusal, it's best to adjust your approach a bit.
The best times to try:
- Just after a meal, when baby is calm, relaxed, and maybe ready to sleep.
- During a cuddle or if you're doing skin-to-skin.
- Before nap time or bedtime, especially if you notice they're seeking help to self-soothe.
Tip: offer the pacifier by gently placing it against their lower lip and see if they take it themselves.
Associate the pacifier with a pleasant feeling
It's totally possible that baby refuses the pacifier because it seems unnecessary. So, you can try sparking or reviving their interest.
How to help baby accept the pacifier?
- Put a few drops of breast milk or formula on it (never use sugar or jam).
- Try the pacifier yourself for a few sucks. Baby might want to mimic you?
- Offer it while rocking or singing a lullaby to associate the pacifier with a gentle, pleasant, and comforting moment.
Play with the pacifier to encourage baby
For both little ones and grown-ups, everything goes better with play. So, why not try making the pacifier fun? Who knows—it might work.
Some tips to make your baby smile:
- If they take and hold the pacifier in their mouth for a bit, gently pull the pacifier (while smiling, laughing, talking to them) to stimulate their sucking reflex.
- Pretend to take it away and give the pacifier back so they ask for it themselves.
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Try having baby look in a mirror with their pacifier. Maybe they'll enjoy seeing themselves with it?
Be patient and observe
Can your child go without a pacifier, or do they just not like it? To find out, observe—especially when they're tired. If they keep refusing, give them a lovey and support them by rocking or carrying them, until they discover their own self-soothing strategies.
Pacifier and breastfeeding: finding the right balance
Using a pacifier with a breastfed baby often raises questions. It's even regularly discouraged, mainly due to the risk of nipple confusion and alternating between the two sucking methods, which could disrupt breastfeeding.
However, this so-called confusion is not systematic. For example, we know that in Denmark, where 90% of babies are breastfed, pacifier use is widespread. In addition, various studies show that proper pacifier introduction (once breastfeeding is well established) does not disrupt breastfeeding.
- Wait until breastfeeding is fully established, usually after 4 to 6 weeks.
- Watch your baby and learn to distinguish between nutritional needs and the need to suck.
- Choose a suitable pacifier with no impact on sucking.
- Offer the pacifier in moderation, at bedtime or when they need soothing.
- Encourage proper latch-on to help baby's sucking at the breast.
By following these simple precautions, it's entirely possible to use a pacifier without compromising successful breastfeeding. The key? See it as a comforting extra and use it sparingly.
Choochoo: the physiological pacifier suited for baby's needs
For the well-being of all babies, Élhée designs its physiological pacifiers in France with special attention to their well-being and development. Soft, gentle, and particularly thin, the ChooChoo offers optimal comfort to newborns from their first days.
- A design made for baby
- Asymmetrical physiological shape: domed on the palate side and flat on the tongue side, to prevent dental open bite.
- Ultra-thin nipple for natural mouth closure.
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Ventilated shield for easier breathing and less skin irritation.
- Available in 2 sizes: 0 - 6 months for newborns and 6 months and up for slightly older babies.
- Safety and quality
- The first pacifier made entirely from medical-grade silicone, in one piece with no removable parts.
- BPA-free, BPS-free, and free from controversial substances.
- Meets the strictest safety standards.
Thanks to its unique design approved by orthodontists, the Choochoo can be the perfect complement to breastfeeding or bottle feeding. Ready to try a physiological pacifier designed for baby's comfort?
When should you stop insisting and give up on the pacifier?
Despite several tries, switching styles, games, and taking breaks... your baby absolutely refuses to take or use the pacifier? It might be time to accept that it simply doesn't suit them, or that they just don't want it anymore (yes, it's tough)... and that's totally normal!
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3 signs your baby doesn't need a pacifier (anymore)
- They spit it out every time and do not seem receptive at all.
- They prefer to self-soothe differently, with a lovey, through skin-to-skin, babywearing, or by sucking their fingers.
- They fall asleep easily without sucking to be comforted.
Your baby is unique, with their own preferences and little habits that make them special. As a parent with more than one child, you know that while some find comfort in a pacifier, others prefer to do without. The important thing is to let your child explore their own sources of comfort, whether they feel calm snuggled up with you or simply by drifting peacefully to sleep in their cozy space. Trust your child's instincts to show you what truly soothes them.
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